Dailies Contact Lenses

Hi, I am young woman who is love with a Nigerian man? Can anybody relate to this experience? Part III?

Ok, so now what has been happening is, every since July 7, 2009, I have been unable to contact him, on my end, because my father controls me. My every move is monitored, because he doesn't want me no longer contacting or associating with my nigerian bf, he guards me like a hawk. He says, he doesn't trust me, and he calls me very sneaky and deceptive, none of which I am doing, at all, just because I don't tell him all of my business, and tell him all that I do in my life, and I mean everything, like what I do on the internet, who I talk to, my call log on my cell phone, who I might have seen or heard from today, or even simply what I did today, like my daily activities and events. He has turned off the internet, and he has even threatened to not pay my phone bill, or even take the phone altogether. He has said, my mom and my dad, that they will disown me if I try to get back in touch with him, and here it is August, I haven't talked to him since July 7, 2009, in the right way, or properly. I miss him terribly, and a whole lot. Meanwhile, my bf has been continuing to contact me, with online chat messages, every since, and e-mails, and now he has gotten his family involved, to try to talk to me, to come back to him, but he claims through the messages, that he has told them what the situation is, but they still want to talk to me, or contact me. I want to talk to them, but I am terrified, because my dad won't let me talk to him, or them, - at all. Now my dad doesn't know anything at all about these messages, whether chat messages, or whether by e-mails, because I don't know how to approach him, and tell him, he is just completely unapproachable and intimidating to me, he just doesn't understand, I have tried to tell him how he is, and therefore, how he makes it impossible to approach him with this situation or anything regarding it at all. I am afraid of what he will do to me, if he finds out that I have been receiving messages all along, but never told him, but he is not an approachable person, so letting him know about the messages, would have been the first thing I would've done, believe me, but I already know if I tell him, he will completely and totally flip on me, for the fact that he has sent me these messages, and I have waited so long to tell him. My bf is still pursuing me, he said he wants me to come back to him, and if anybody wants to hear more about what he said, let me know, but basically, just so you know, my bf loves me, and I love him too. I miss him so much and I don't know what to do, so as to get my family to see that, or at least try to re-examine this situation with me and my bf. I don't want to lose me parents over this, I have already lost them somewhat, because things will never be the same around here, I believe, or I think, but they have caused me to have to choose - him or my mother and my father, and I don't know what to do, or where to turn regarding this situation, and this matter. I don't want to have to lose my parents over this, but I am being forced to dance to their own tune behind how they feel on the matter, and they are not allowing me to live my own life and I am an adult young woman. And on top of that, I have nobody to talk to about it, so I come to you guys out here, the public, so you can help me figure this out, and decide, I know I've written a lot, but I really need and welcome all advice and help I can get. Can anybody relate to this experience or know a Nigerian(s), or the Nigerian culture, anyways? What should I do people? How can I fix this big mess, that is supposed to be - my life?

Public Comments

1. hello im sorry you answered one of my questions about racism your answer broke my heart and I tried to give you a thumbs up and I clicked on thumbs down my 4 year old keeps climbing on me and I don't have my glasses on...lol I want you to know that I know this world is hard and having it filled with bad people doesn't make it any easier but I was so glad to hear from someone with a personal oppinion without getting angry with me for asking such a risky question.I just want to raise my children to be good hearted people and this world is making it an up hill battle.God Bless you and if some white guy stubs his nose up at you or some white girl rolls her eyes they aren't worth talking to in the first place.