Dailies Contact Lenses - Christians only please?

Christians only please?

I had 2 kids out of wedlock before I came to the Lord.. and me and my kids father were living together when we both accepted the Lord.. Well he started to get distant.. I knew we were living in sin but I didn't expect him to leave the relationship completely... He told me that the Lord convicted him to leave me.. now its been 2 years and we both are still strong in our faith, go to church, are in the Word daily.. We still are friends and are raising our children "together" but not together.. I guess my question is why would the Lord convict him to leave instead of wanting to be a real family... its still a really confusing time for me because i always felt the Lord made families stronger not tear them apart... I know the Lord has a bigger purpose for me but i just cant seem to understand why that would happen.. any encouraging words??? any biblical counsel?? when we first broke up a year ago we did go to our pastor for counseling and our pastor told him that love wasnt a feeling but a commitment.. and we went to counseling for a few more weeks but my ex just didnt feel like i was the "one".. we are no longer living together and havent been sexual since we came to Christ... its just hard because we do get along and raise our kids well together,, and he tries to act like a husband at times to me but he doesnt want the relationship..its just really confusing i dont know whether to wait or move on

Public Comments

According to The Bible, you are sining. Marriage is to be kept sacred, especially if children are involved. Sorry, but you will be condemned to hell.
Good Luck with that
Do you have something against marrying him? And if you do have something against marrying him, I can't understand why. Do the right thing. You know what it is.
keep your head up. maybe it's just bad timing. God doesn't answer me right away, but the answer does come over time. sometimes not going by the rules has it consequences but nothing Jesus has not paid for so trust what Jesus says.
All gods are imaginary. He just wanted to get out of the relationship.
if you read your bible, you will see that god often had family members slaughter one another, daughters got their father drunk and raped him, and on and on and on. Just accept his love and wisdom even if it leads to incest and murder, He works in mysterious ways,
Lol when you say Christians only all the atheists come! Stay strong and find a real man who will love you and your kids forever. Their real father is not worth it. Also, find your passion! It could be art, or writing, or just volunteering in the community! :) good luck
Wow. How easy to blame "the Lord". Why would you believe him? He doesn't want to be with you and he is taking an easy "out". If I told the IRS "the Lord" didn't want me to pay my taxes, what do you think they would say?
I guess biblically, you are seen by him as a mere concubine.
sounds like he just wanted to leave and used both your faiths as an excuse. God wouldn't say that
the Lord does not convict.. IMO, His main job is to watch over us as we, the sinners that we are, exercise our freedom of will.. i don't know what's wrong with that guy, but it could be that he just doesn't connect with you to that level anymore, and he's trying to find some "subtle" way of getting out without totally breaking your heart..
maybe your kids dad felt guilty about the sin that was being committed and didnt want that for you guys so he felt he needed to leave in order to escape sin, maybe after that he didnt think a relationship was possible or didnt want to fall back into sin sorry My gf and I are kinda going thru the same thing good luck it takes alot of work.
Why would the lord do that? The lord wouldnt. Its obvious your husband is having trouble right now and doesnt want to leave beacuse of the kids and the trouble with a divorde its not Gods fault. Your husband knows your religous so he might be using that as an excuse from both you and himself. You should talk to him beacuse this isnt just about God it might be that hes having trouble in his life too and the best way to find out and help is to talk
Okay, as far as I understand, the Lord doesn't convince anyone to do anything. Choice has always been big with him. It is of our own free will whether we choose to believe in him or not and it is of our own free will that we make decisions. So if he had the audacity to say God convinced him to leave his family, I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. I'm not saying he's not being a good father or anything, I'm just saying God had nothing to do with his decision. He made his own CHOICE. Now as to what the Lord has planned for you, just pray sister and let your troubles on to him. Remember God never gives us more than we can handle.
Maybe the conviction came when he realized he did not want to marry and thus he left so the two of you would not be tempted to continue in your sinful ways. God does have a plan for you and uses everything to his purpose. Keep the faith and know God loves you. I will keep you in my prayers! God Bless.
The Lord did not tell him to do anything that was contrary to His Holy Word. The bible tells us He is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. Would he agree to go to Christian counseling with you? You guys need to be married and complete your family - but of course you can't make him do anything. But DO NOT live with him any longer or sleep with him. I think it is wonderful that you are both good friends and raising your children in a loving atmosphere but what does it teach them to live in sin? You need to live a Christian life before them from here on out. I would love to pray for you and your family. Best of luck
Well first of all, just because someone says "the lord convicted me..." doesn't make it true. People use that line all the time to justify what THEY want. The truth probably is...he doesn't want to commit to a marriage with you. Plain and simple. It sucks and it's not fair but at least you have your priorities in line with putting the children first. Just make sure they know what parents are supposed to do...and tell "thier dad" to show you where in the Bible, God would support what he is doing. Saying God convicted you to do something contrary to the Bible is obviously LAME.
Only GOD(YHVH) can answer that.
It could be he responded in a 'worldly' way -- leaving his responsibility, when he saw you growing spiritually. The Lord didn't make him leave . . . he left. Don't blame the Lord. You didn't say, but I wonder if you stopped having sex with him, because you realized it was wrong, and he decided to leave? Is he dating? Are you going to the same church together, while he's dating other women? Where do you want your life to be, in six years? Ask him where he wants his life to be. What sort of environment do you want your children growing up in? What are you doing to create the 'right' type of life for your children? You have other things to think about other than the wrong idea that "God" told him to leave.
Just because your boyfriend used God as an excuse, does not make it God's will. Your boyfriend just doesn't want to take responsibilities for his actions. God does what is best for his followers. It is possible that your boyfriend is someone that was a want of yours, but not what God knows is best, for you or your children. "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers". However God also works at his own pace. Maybe it's just not time yet. He always answers when It is time, even if the answer is no.
hey, your like my parents, i think it WILL be hard at times and feel lonely but remember your not alone. Just last night, i was listening to AIO (Adventures in Oddyssey) and it told the message of parents splitting up, the answer they said was prayer, think for a moment, have you lost touch of praying with him? One of the strongest things is probably prayer. Although my parents are not back together, they still love God AND JESUS AND BELIEVE HE DIED FOR US and me and my sisters. It will be tough but remember this -- "I can DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!
Maybe you should talk to your pastor and take some Christian couples classes. It is so good you all accepted Christ. That in itself is awesome and it is also good if you are trying to avoid sin. But if you can raise your kids together and are good friends, then you should just get married. Talk to your pastor and put out a prayer request to the Church as a whole I'm praying for you too, Bless you!!
at my service sunday the pastor said it best " There is not big issue for God everything is a small issue." This is just another small issue read 1st Corinthians 7:37 I would write it out but i think it would be more personally if you grab your bible and look it up. God always has bigger plans and you can never doubt God something I am starting to learn myself. There are bleek times but God has an answer. Everytime something happens in my life I realize that its all part of Gods plan. The sins we commit are man made and we do them on our own, but God forgives us if we can learn from them we become one step closer to him. So keep strong in your faith and don't worry about anything, but pray about everything.
God would convict him to marry you and make things right. Your boyfriend made his own decision about not doing the right thing, which would be to marry you.
God IS in the business of building strong families, but He is not responsible for the results of your choices. I think it's great that you both have become Christians and are working together to raise the kids, but you are right...it seems that the best thing to do is get married and be a real family. Have you asked him if he would consider going to your pastor for counseling with you. I would certainly ask him to do it for the sake of the children because as they get older they will wonder why you're not married. Maybe he just still feels guilty about having had the kids out of wedlock. He needs to know that God is faithful to forgive us when we confess our sins. In God's eyes you are both as white as snow. If your boyfriend doesn't accept God's forgiveness he will never be able to move forward. Remind him that Jesus shed His blood for sinners...for all of us as we all have fallen short! Ask him to pray about what would please God most in this situation. God will direct his thinking if he opens his heart up to Him.
I think you both used your own belief. against each other. I think you used it to keep him. And he used it. As an excuse to leave you.
Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not to thine own understanding...The Lord may be working on him, to build him to be the man God intended him to be. It is possible that living under the same roof with the women he obviously loves is hard when your REALLY trying to do God's will. Take this time to continually grow closer to the Lord yourself, you'll see in the end everything works out for those that love the Lord. Faith is confidence in God when you do not understand!!....God Bless!
The Lord convicts a person of sin so there is "guilt feeling". The Lord will not convict him to leave u and ur children. Both needs spiritual counselling. Please approach your local church or spiritually strong elders for confession , prayers and guidance. Isaiah 1:15 When you spread forth your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. 16 Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, 17 learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow. 18 "Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. 19 If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land; 20 But if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword; for the mouth of the LORD has spoken." James 5:16 - Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects. 1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Uh, I've been a x'n for almost 40 years, haven't heard of anyone convicted of anything. The idea must not be with what you believe but with you feelings towards each other. If your Lord could tell you straight in your face, he would be angry with you --- making him an alibi.
Maybe God wants you both to grow spiritually before you get married. It does seem strange to me too though. It seems like a Christian man should step up to the plate and take responsibility for his family. It's hard to be a good example to your kids if you don't live with them. I'll pray about it. Pray that if it's God's will for you to marry him, he would get convicted about it. But, if while you're waiting, a good Christian guy wants to date you, go for it.
The lord did not convict him to do anything. He may have done what he felt was right in his heart. "Knowing what's right" can easily get confused with other things. According to the bible your sins are absolved by the son. Your greater purpose is inside you. Don't worry about the past. Move forward. The footsteps in the sand are not created by those stopped looking backwards.
There are several possibilities, one that I think might be worth pursuing is he is not yet ready to be a husband and a father yet, God is grooming him to step up to that role but he is not yet ready. If he is stuck at being the father part but not yet ready for the husband part then just give him more time and he will become ready.
Alright, first of all, if you put christians only in your question, you are bound to wind up with jerks giving you stupid crap. Also you are leaving yourself out of some good secular intuition and insight. That said, why didn't you marry him after you both accepted the lord? couldn't that be the problem? or, perhaps, he is seeing a different path before him and you need to be loving and supportive of his path, yes I do mean the path of jesus, but more than that he may be searching for something that isn't there (or he thinks isn't there) with you. Just something to think about.
From what you stated, I'm sure he sensed it was wrong to live together not being married. Have you discussed marriage ? Are you unwilling to marry him ? I have no other clues without knowing more about your relationship.
I don't see enough reason here why he left, the only solution for that is confess and marry you. Has he told you the real truth, I mean it's obvious he doesn't want to be married or the thought of sealing it. Why don't you talk to him and settle this once and for all, that is not fair, he could have been at least honest if he doesn't want to marry you. Be ready for the truth ,one of these days you will soon find out. When that happens don't despair, there is someone out there who will marry you and accept you for what you are. Sometimes not so good things happen for the purpose of making way for the perfect will for you. Remember Joseph when he was sold by his brothers. Read that chapter, you will be lifted up.
I am sorry for those on here that are just rude and trying to confuse you and hurt you even worse. I understand why you would be confused by this situation. The best thing of course, if you all love eachother is to get married and have a family. But as much as we want to, we do not control everything , God does. You can't control what your ex does or wants to do. I don't believe God told him to leave you and your kids, but convicted him of you both living together. I respect him for that because it means he is seeking after righteousness and wanting to mind God's word. But, too, he should want to do what's best for you and your kids. Trust God, he does have a bigger purpose. He just comes down to, God cannot make your ex's decisions for him. He makes them. So you just have to trust God on this one and know everything will work together for the good in the end. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless
Dear err_ryda, First as you said at the time the two of you were living in sin- and so the Lord would direct people in ways which lead them towards righteousness. So at the time- it is very much possible that this is the way that the Lord directed him. I think it's very hard for anyone but the Lord to answer this question in that -- i'm sure there is a lot not understood here about the way he left the relationship and the way that he expressed that. At the time though from your description it could be that God was convicting him that the situation at the time was wrong and he wanted to make it right. i think right now- he needs to do the right thing and marry you or make it very clear -- if he doesn't truly love you and yet still remain a responsible Father. Part of faith is trusting in God even though you don't understand. i think this is part of the pain of sin and it would be wrong for you to blame the Lord for tearing the two of you apart- if this man loves you- he should do the right thing and marry you -- that's not the Lord's fault if he chooses not to. My encouragement to you- is that as -- it sounds like you are both being responsible parents, that your kids are a great joy in your life, and as you follow God and His Word-- He knows your needs and will provide for you in His way and His timing. At this time- i think there would be nothing wrong and approaching this gentlemen and letting him know that you want to clearly define the relationship- his leaving you 2 years ago- was to stay clear of sin- but that may not explain how he feels about you today- and you need clarification on that (how he feels) not deflecting your confusion towards God. Hope that helps. Feel free to email me if i can help you out in any other way. Kindly, Nickster
I will tell you the same thing I have told myself a million times. I will be honest I hate hearing myself say this. Because at the time I am in the mind frame I want it my way now. Over all I know in the end I am right because I have seen it work. God has his reasons why things are not going the way you want them to. However, you don't see them right now. When the day and time comes God will show you and then you will see and understand why your dreams, plains, prayers on the subject were not answered in the order in which you wanted them to be. See God knows our lives and our future better then we do. Right now we might be going through something that we think is the right choice and that will make our future better, but GOD may see it as it's not right and he will not let it happen only because he has better plains for your life in the making and once his plain has come into being he will then allow you to see and understand why your way didn't work. I hope this helps.
You are absolutely right about The Lord wanting families to be together, not torn apart. There is NO excuse, the father of your children should never have left you! He should have married you! I cannot think of any scripture to support this...it is just a given that he should be with his family. He is in error...The Lord would never have convicted him to leave...only to be married so as to seal the pact. He cannot be that strong in his faith if he is not doing the right thing by marrying you and raising the children with you, under the same roof. My wife and I were also living together with our first daughter when we decided to get married. We believed in God but were not strong in our faith at that time...we had thought for the first two years of our daughters life that it didn't matter if we were married, as far as we were concerned, we were, just not on paper. However, The Lord did begin to convict us of the importance of making that covenant with each other and before Him. There is no question in my mind...you two should be married...not living apart! God loves family, He designed family! It is through family that He unfolds and reveals the love He truly has for us. Stay strong in your faith. Show patience and love for your children and their father. Pray. May God grant you a forever family.
first of all i want to say hello,now to reply to your question in the bible it says when a man and a woman is married the man should not leave the woman and the woman should not leave the man now if he die or u die than you can remarry but if you r married and split and get a devoice and remarried you are sinning. look in matthew5:31it will tell u about divorceand in matthew5:33 talks bout vows. i think you and him need to read them chapter.
One thing you have to realize is that God is an all knowing God. He sees things and knows things that you don't . If God convicted him to leave the relationship, then there is a purpose for it. It may be for you two to grow in your walk with Christ and to reunite at a later time in life to be a family. There may be things that you two have to accomplish in life for yourselves before you two can have a family. If he is part of God's will for your life and your future then God will place him back in your life as your husband in God's timing. If he is not part of God's will for your life then God will remove him and he will not return to you as your husband, but he will take responsibility for the kids you share together. You have to remember that you were with this man before you got saved. It was your choice to choose him as your signifigant other. If you surrender your life over to God and let Him guide you in your decisions, there is a chance that God may not have chose him for you. God has a bigger purpose for you then you need to pursue and reach for the purpose that God has for you and realize that what God does is for your benefit in the end. You may not see it for years, but God knows things that you don't. Let God have the situation with him. Surrender it to the Lord and pray over it and stand fast in your faith and within God's timing He will show you whether or not he is to return to you as your husband to have a family with this man. If he doesn't return to you , remember that God has someone better for you out there and it will be in His timing before you find out who he is. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding! I can't tell you God's plans for you, only He can. Pray and trust in Him and He will lead you. Do not think that God has torn your family apart. It looks bad now but it is for the best even if you can't see or understand it. My two oldest daughters was with my first love. We were together for 3 yrs. He left to move out of state for a good paying job, and was to return for me and our kids. He left the state and didn't contact me and was gone for over 7 yrs. I was hurt beyond anything I could fathom for the first 2 yrs he was gone. I prayed daily for God to bring him back to me. I wanted to marry him so bad. He came back 8 yrs later with a wife and two kids. I got to spend time with him and talk and reminisce. I learned within a week that I thanked God for unanswered prayers. I couldn't stand to be around him for long periods of time and realized that if we would've ended up married we would've been divorced soon after. I learned that when he left it was for the best and it was not in God's will for me to marry him. It took a long time to see that , but I was very thankful in the long run that God was watching over me. He says that He will never leave you or forsake you and He means it . It is a matter of us standing in our faith and trusting Him and listening to His guidance in our lives. We are the ones that walk away and forsake Him. It is hard to trust and not to question at the same time. It is human nature. Soak up God's word and let Him carry your burdens and He will tell you when the time is right what is right for you.
Psalms 27:10 "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will lift me up." It doesn't matter if it's your parents or anybody else precious to you-when it's time for you to come apart, it's okay to hurt or be confused. You expected to be with them forever, but it didn't turn out that way. I can't know exactly why your kids' father did why he did. He might, like other people have suggested, be lying, or he might be speaking from his heart. If he's stated more than once that he doesn't want to be "together" with you, feel free to move on with your life; concentrate on yourself and your children. Even if he's also confused, he's made his decision. I won't try to explain it away, and it's great that you already know that the Lord has a bigger purpose for you. If it hurts or leaves you confused, don't worry; God will not only have a bigger purpose for you, but will lift you up from where you feel. God's purpose in our lives isn't to make everything smoother sometimes. Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." He isn't always there to give us what we want, and he isn't always there to make families "stronger" the way we'd want him to. However, God IS always there. THAT is what God is there to do. =)