Dailies Contact Lenses - How can I be More Positive?

How can I be More Positive?

I have become a supper negative person. This is bringing down my marriage and my kids as well. I need some solid "real World" advice on things I can do to be positive. I know I can do this, just need the daily actions.

Public Comments

Speak with your doctor and ask your family for help.
To be a more positive person, the "fake it 'til you make it" approach is often suprisingly effective. Who is the most positive person you know? Make a habit of (secretly) observing this person for a couple of weeks. Act as if you were going to be interviewed on the topic "how X responds positively in his/her day to day life". To prepare for your (hypothetical) interview, begin by making notes on how that individual responds in common situations (particularly those which you also regularly encouter). Be very specific and very thorough in your notes. Include physical actions and emotional responses. Include also in your notes, ways in which they DO NOT respond (but you might). For example, if your subject goes through the drive-thru at McDonalds and discovers his/her fries are cold, what does he/she say? What does he/she do? Does he/she say something like "I ALWAYS have trouble at this particular McDonalds. In addition to these fries being cold, the workers were also quite rude!". Or, does your subject respond something like "The service here is usually so good. I wonder why these fries are cold today. I think I'll go back and ask for a replacement". Does your subject make a habit of avoiding use of words such as "never" and "always"? Does your subject tend to purposely catch others "doing something right" and then comment on it? Does your subject immediately address problems rather than letting them stew? Does your subject typically build things into their life that are stress reducers? Does he/she usually greet friends/family with a warm smile, handshake, or a hug? Does he/she have a tendency to make a point of thanking others or showing appreciation for the "little things"? After a couple of weeks of observation, try the following experiment for a few weeks. Act AS IF you were the person you've been observing. WHenever you face day-to-day events, stop and ask yourself : "how would X respond?". Then respond, to the best of your ability, the way he/she would. Although you likely will not FEEL positive at first during this exercise, you may be pleasantly surprised at just how natural and genuine the "acting" will become after you've "faked it" for a few weeks. If, after implementing your "fake it 'til you make it" plan for a few weeks, you continue to be bothered by "negativity", it is probably time to consider the possibility of an underlying depression. If this is the case, medication and psychotherpy (BOTH are important to be used in concert) may be just the ticket. Best of luck, ~M~
Congratulations , You took the first step in changing to a more full filling and happier life. That is asking the right questions. We all are analyzing very thing every minute , evaluating. Problem is everyone doesn't ask them self's the right questions.A Bad questions , in your situations would sound like this , "Oh why is this happening to me, "Nothing goes my way" ,ect. The answer is not analyzing anyone or seeing a doctor , the answer lies within you, Your "Personal power!" You have the power to change to change your life in an instant. Here's what you do: 1.Ask your self empowering questions, for every good and bad situations of every minute of your day; The title of your question is a perfect example.How this : "What can I do to feel more positive", or "how can I make turn this situation around , quickly". You mind is like a computer you ask the right question , you get a good result, ask a bad question end up with bad results. 2. You need to come from a place of gratitude every single day. Be grateful you alive! Be grateful you have beautiful Family. Be grateful there is still a an opportunity to make you family happy! Appreciate what you have, take inventory. There are thousand or perhaps millions of other people who wish they could just live small piece of you have. Health,life, family ect. 3. How do you what to be remembered? The dad that cared but was never happy. The Husband that love but never showed it. The friend that was nice but wasn't considerate. The employee that was limited to his job. Life is short , live to the fullest! 4.Change your focus. What you focus on is day to day is your reality. In other words if you focus on the solution and not the problem You will have more control over life instead of life controlling you! I was once not happy with my life over 5 years ago. I hit rock bottom. I felt lonely ,I had no money, just no were in life, But I decided i wasn't going to take it any more. I read self improvement books. I bought "Personal power' cd program , and turn my life around. I am married to a beautiful and supportive wife , a beautiful 2 1/2 old daughter and great career in real estate. Bottom line, I am very grateful and I am very happy with my life. I continue to work at it because I want more of what life has to offer!The answer is not analizing anyone or seeing a doctor , the answer lies within you, Your "Personal power!" You have the power to change to change your life in an instant. Heres what you do: 1.Ask your self empowering questions, for every good and bad situations of every minute of your day; The title of your question is a perfect example.How this : "What can I do to feel more positive", or "how can I make turn this situation around , quickly". You mind is like a computer you ask the right question , you get a good result, ask a bad question end up with bad results. 2. You need to come from a place of gratitued everysingle day. Be greatful you alive! Be greatful you have beautiful Family. Be greatful there is still a an oportunity to make you family happy! Apreciate what you have, take inventory. There are thousand or perhaps millions of other people who wish they could just live small piece of you have. Health,life, family ect. 3. How do you what to be remembered? The dad that cared but was never happy. The Husabnd that love but never showed it. The friend that was nice but wasnt considerate. The employee that was limited to his job. Life is short , live to the fullest! 4.Change your focus. What you focus on is day to day is your reality. In other words if you focus on the problem and not the soultion You will have more control over life instead of life controlling you! You deserve to be happy ,so dont let anything get in the way. I was once not happy with my life over 5 years ago. . I bought "Personal power' cd program , and turn my life around. I am married to a beautiful and suporttive wife , a beautiful 2 1/2 old daughter and great career in real estate. Bottom line, I am very greatful and I am very happy with my life. I continue to work at it becuase I want more of what life has to offer!
Try to be aware of when you're being negative, and replace the negative with positive or neutral comments. "This store always has incompetent people working here" is negative, trying to be really nice to them and seeing if you could make that five or ten minutes pleasant is more positive. When I was trying to do just this thing, I would purposefully take on tasks I normally hate as a challenge- of me being really positive the whole time and seeing how good I could make the situation.
You may not realize it, but the root of constant negativity is due to depression. Sometimes, people are mildly depressed and don't realize it until it gets worse. My daughter is going through this now. She was feeling just like you and she was always a positive thinking woman. She slowly became depressed and began saying so many negative things. She finally sought help and her MD told her she was depressed. Once she was put on the proper meds, her moods changed for the better and the negative thinking finally diminished. If you don't seek help soon, this can ruin your marriage. Your job will suffer and your children see and feel the difference in you and not understand. So please, give it some thought and talk to your MD to see if you should see someone. Many times your MD will be able to tell what is going on when you express your feelings of negativity to him. This feeling can also lead to a feeling of hopelessness as well, so, please talk to your doc.. I hope this helps. I wish you the best. Do something before it gets out of hand. God Bless
get Joel O'sten book your best life now it will change you
u can talk to me dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. try walking, get a book that inspires you, pray, go to holisticonline.com, beliefnet.com. also list things that are going good by keeping a diary.
You have to fake it till you make it . There are real secrets to life and real secret groups. A few rules can start you on your way to a more positive view of the expected and you wont expect in error so much. The most important rule is that the greetings used are really well organized to mean so much. It is easy to think it has little or no meaning in life. That will get you started and now find a new friend who is learning like you are.
Being positive doesn't mean ignoring the bad things, it means looking at the negaitive things differently---being more optimistic. My experience with depression...which it sounds like you have, in some way, is that it stems from feeling helpless about things. If I get fired from my job, get into a car accident, someone glowers at me, the kids are screaming, a glass of milk got spilled, etc., I can think.. "Oh no, everything bad happens to me!" or I could think.. "What can I learn from this situation? Yes, it did happen, and I don't particularly like it, but it is over...the milk is spilled, what do I do from here?" I know its cliche to say make lemon out of lemonaide, and I get irritated at overly cheery people, but making lemonaide is not about putting on a smile no matter what. Making lemonaide is about thinking constructively about what to do next, and DO IT. Wipe up the milk and pour another glass, or not, whatever is best for the moment. Ask for help too...that is being constructive. Now you know that there is something that needs taking care of. It is not only hurting your family, it is hurting you.