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How can I help a 12-year old boy focus on school and related tasks without using medication?

My son is in 7th grade and continually "forgets" to do homework, prepare for tests, let the dog out, etc. He is brilliant with an incredible memory. He has lost privileges been opportunities to "earn" benefits all to no avail. He lost a jacket at school (somebody stole it) and today lost his iPod. He goes from thing to thing without finishing anything. He can remember dialogue from movies, nearly any event, specific statistics from a sporting football or baseball game, but can't remember to have an assignment notebook signed or to turn in an order form at school or even to brush his teeth and wash his face daily. We are lost. Help!

Public Comments

1. a good smack in the back of the head
2. THATS WHAT PHYSICIANS ARE FOR. PHYSICAL IS IN ORDER...
3. maby he likes sports more than school. tell him if hes failing any classes he cant play sports any more . in oklahoma schools have a rule u have to b passing w/ a c min. to play
4. have your son tested for different things. my brother was the same way. he could remember everything about things that interested him but not school. he read things backwards. that is why my brother became the clown of the class. they never tested him until his senior year of high school. maybe your son is bored because he is to smart to be in the classes that he is in. have his school do a IQ test and other test.
5. Sounds pretty normal to me.Yes its frustrating for you, ( I could never understand why my 14 year old daughter always looked immaculate and yet could leave a half eaten sandwich and 10 pairs of dirty pants under her bed for as long as it took for me to find them (a month one time). She now owns a house that you could perform a surgical operation in, its so clean! If your sons school grades are suffering, don't over dramatise it at home, contact his teachers and see if there's a problem with anything at school (I'm thinking bullying etc) that could be making him feel negative. If there isn't, grit your teeth, keep up a gentle nagging campaign but don't make it a huge issue. If anything, make it a family joke, he may respond better to this slight humiliation than direct criticism and it won't do him any harm. He's testing his boundaries and, like they all do, getting his priorities wrong. Above all, set a good, consistent behavioural example yourself at all times, treat him with respect and believe me, he won't let it go far enough to do him any real damage, he's too smart for that and he'll work it our for himself and sort it in the nick of time. Been through it several times with my own. Its not easy when it would seem so much simpler for him to just do the right thing, but their brains don't work that way at that age. He's a bright kid, he'll be OK and you won't go mad if you can find it in yourself to go easy on him as far as you can. When I came to the conclusion that I should just give up, it came as a huge relief to me and my daughter's behaviour improved overnight. Good luck, I know what you are going through, email me if you need to.